Bigender

This is what I mean when I say that I am "bigender". I could pass for male or female depending on a whim (and sometimes on the same day and in the same outfit, depending on who you talk to - which always throws me for a loop).

To be fair, I don't actually dress like the figure on the left (anymore). I mean, I never wore boxers sticking out of my jeans - I think that looks ridiculous. But those are my old jeans. And I go topless when I can get away with it - e.g., at the pool (where there's no hiding my genitalia in a woman's swimsuit), and at the park in my athletic shorts, when it's hot.

Which goes to show, I would commit to presenting as female all the time, but there are just certain limitations to my anatomy. And because I don't feel dysphoric to the extent that I feel the extreme solution of surgery would be warranted (not all trans-people feel like they were born in "the wrong body" - their brain may not match their body, but why should it have to?), it's just going to happen that on some days I'm going to look more male, and other days more female. And some days I'll be confusingly androgynous - because I don't think there's anything wrong with, for example, draping a flat-chested, broad-shouldered body in a dress. (Because why should you have to have breasts in order to enjoy wearing a dress?). Vive la différence.

Also, from a psychological standpoint, I feel neither 100% male nor 100% female. I've rejected many of the masculine stereotypes that I don't identify with - aggression, competition, etc. I feel softer, gentler, more feminine. But at the same time, there are some fundamental aspects of femininity that I can never assimilate. Like, I have zero interest in babies, and completely lack any kind of a mothering instinct (which honestly doesn't bother me). At the same time, I have some masculine interests, like my taste in music (decidedly un-feminine).

So, honestly, if male and female were written up on a sheet in two columns, I would have to take a little from each column in order to make up the person that I am. This is probably true for most people - very few are walking stereotypes for one or the other gender (you might find that even that bodybuilder owns a lap poodle). But while most people are comfortable identifying with one gender or the other (and usually the one that matches their anatomy, and that they were assigned at birth), I'm not. It's as simple as that. Calling myself male feels wrong in some ways. And calling myself female feels wrong in other ways. So why can't there be more options?