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her eyes, deep as the sea
grey as the misty mountaintops
her hair, flowing in soft waves
gold as the shining sun
her skin, paler than the full moon
equal to its silky radiance
her figure, tall and slender
swaying freely in the breeze

she is the fog at the tip of my fingers
coming no closer though I advance
she is the reflection in a still pond
disturbed by the slightest touch
she is the brilliant flash of lightning
no sooner noticed than is gone
she is the cold and delicate snowflake
I watch vanish from my warm hand

I feel in her a fatal attraction
her siren's song an irresistible distraction
I see in her everything I desire
thinking only together could we get any higher
my heart calls out, but my voice disassembles
my soul stands straight, while my steady hand trembles
I offer my love, becoming sickened of flight
in a calm voice she says, 'thank you, good night'
The Summer of '04 was my chance. It was do or die. If I had any future with "the girl", this would be the time to find out. Well, I didn't. The great Fall of '04 came 'round, and I sank into a deep depression. It's telling that I wrote little until the beginning of the following year (this was written in January). I had not even the energy or the inspiration to express the depths of my sorrow.

At this point, I should have extricated myself from any interactions with her, for my own sanity. But this was not an option. I was doomed to run into her - and each time be reminded of what I wanted so badly, and couldn't have - off and on over the course of the next two years. My feelings festered, and began to find expression in the form of poetry.

I'm particularly fond of the second stanza, which poignantly reflects the nature of unrequited love - you could be sitting right next to a person, and yet feel as though there is an infinite gulf of space between you. Look for the symbolism of snow to appear again in later poems.

I have a long list of songs that remind me of her, that I listened to for comfort in those days, but the one that comes to mind right now is Robin Trower's "Hannah", which includes lines like "distance surrounds you everywhere", and "living in memories I can't share", as well as "nothing I do brings me to you". Hannah, let me love you...
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March 9
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